Fast zwei Jahre ohne „Weeds“-Zitate. Schrecklicher Zustand. Muss behoben werden.

ANDY, about to be drafted in the military, is showing his foot with two missing toes to SGT HOLBROOK

ANDY
Only real downer besides the residual pain is the issue of warm-weather footwear. I sport the flip-flop, summer-sandal… I get stares. Children cry and run away.

SHANE
Can we go to the arcade now?

HOLBROOK
Well, Mr Bodwin. When injuries such as yours may have rendered you unfit for duty in the past I’m afraid times have changed.

ANDY
Mhh? What do you mean?

HOLBROOK
In case you haven’t read a newspaper in 4 years: This country – your country! – is at war.

SHANE
Actually, technically Operation [makes airquotes] „Iraqi Freedom“ is an extended military engagement. War’s not been declared.

HOLBROOK
Actually, technically authorization for the use of military force has been given by congress. That’s enough to activate your uncle here into service.

ANDY
Yeah… I’m clearly not fit.

HOLBROOK
You can walk, can’t you?

ANDY
Not at lockstep! No, I tend to weave now.

HOLBROOK
Didn’t notice.

ANDY
I’ll fail the drug test.

HOLBROOK
We’ll clean you up.

ANDY
I’m gay!

HOLBROOK
We got a unit for that.

(pause)

HOLBROOK
Look son, truth here is you’re never gonna see combat. We wanna win this war.

SHANE
Not a war.

HOLBROOK
(looks annoyed to SHANE) My point is… (back at ANDY) You’re headed for a desk-job, son. So quit your whining and prepare to serve! We got you. We’re not gonna let you go. Now, do report back here at 0500 tomorrow morning with these papers properly filled out. You must bring with you a social security card, a birth certificate and a driver’s licence. Do not bring iPods, watches, jewelery, excessive cash or any other valuables.

ANDY
This is bullshit.

HOLBROOK
(smiles) Welcome to the army… soldier.

Weeds 3×03 – „The Brick Dance“